Wednesday

Wednesday was a slow day in the OB ward.  Myself and the three other midwives on duty had done all the work there was to do and were sitting around visiting.  Since we work with a population that has many risk factors, it is good to always be ready for the worst.  This led me to ask the midwives if they wanted to review our emergency skills.  We started discussing and going through the step-by-step management for every complication we could think of.  It was good review and refreshing.  This conversation was only the beginning though…  As a fairly new midwife (I’ve been licensed for just over 3 years now) compared to these very seasoned midwives (most of them have been midwives for 20+ years) there is a lot I haven’t seen.  I mentioned to them that I have never had a maternal death and hope I never do. 

From there, their stories began trickling out, each one going through the details of some of their scariest shifts, near losses and also the births that didn’t end well with mothers lives lost.  I felt like I was in a sacred time and space as these incredible women opened up to me and shared the details of some of their careers most devastating moments.  I just listened. I asked a few questions and listened some more.  It’s never easy to hear such heartbreaking stories.  Yet I wondered… Who else do these women have to talk to about these things?  Who else has had the opportunity to or even taken the time to listen?  With each story I found myself hoping I would never find myself in such situations, but also realized that it sometimes is the reality of the life of a midwife in a remote, developing country.  At the same time, hearing their stories gave me strength and hope as well.  Even though they have seen so much, even though they have been through hell and back, they have never given up on doing their best to provide the moms and babies who seek their care the best services they know how to give.  

As the stories wrapped up you could feel a sense of ease and release in the room.  There is a lightness that comes with simply opening up about some of the least talked about, hardest experiences of our lives.  From there our conversations continued onto dreaming, planning, strategizing about how we can continue to work together as a team to improve the quality of care we provide to our patients.  These ladies truly are unsung heroes.  They have worked endless hours, seen countless tragedies, and have held their ground.  I want to take a moment to count the privilege it is to work with these midwives.  They often thank me beyond what I deserve, for working along side them and striving with them for improvements in our area of work.  Yet, I don’t know how to express how grateful I am to those I work alongside of.  They have taught me more than I could ever teach them and have encouraged me without even realizing it, when I’ve been close to giving up and quitting myself.  

I am reminded to always take time to listen.  Not just to respond, but to really hear and to understand.  I also see that oftentimes those you think you are going to serve and bless often end up giving you more than you could ever give them.  It’s always worth giving all you have, the return on generosity is greater than you can imagine (even if you don’t see it right away).  I am reminded to be generous in all things: time, love, resources, knowledge, laughter, and more.  Lastly, I am reminded to be grateful, truly grateful for the blessings in my life, especially the people.  Not to look at people’s faults but at their strengths.  Not at what they are not but what they are.  So here’s to the midwives I call colleagues and sisters: you ladies are truly amazing! 

Never Lose the Wonderment

This week I am preparing to teach the female reproductive system to a class of high school girls.  This is a bit of a change of focus from my usual work as a midwife.  However, I am thrilled for this opportunity and have a huge love and passion for education and teaching!  Especially when it involves my most favourite topic, reproduction.

As I have been reviewing material and preparing for this class I came across a fantastic video on youtube.  It's a TEDtalk video.  Just a side note, if you're not familiar with TEDtalks you are missing out and I highly recommend checking these little gems out!  As I watched this video, Conception to Birth Visualized I was awestruck.  Watching the wonderment of the miracle of conception through childbirth, a topic I have studied in depth, I was again struck with aw and amazement.  Not only was I amazed yet again by the incredible process, but by the awe the presentor (a brilliant, mathematician, visual artist and writer) expressed.  He repetitively states that, "so perfectly organised structure it was hard not to attribute divinity to it."  I completely agree.

I just wanted to take this little moment to reflect upon the wonderment...To praise God for His incredible creation, which we can only begin to grasp.  I wanted to remind us all to never lose the wonder.  For me, I never want to let the everyday norm of birth (hard to imagine right) make me forget about the incredible details, the handiwork of our Creator working behind what I see everyday.
Whatever you are doing, whatever you normal, everyday looks like, there are great workings of God behind it.  Look for it, praise Him for it and never lose the wonderment!

Common Questions (and Misconceptions) Part 2

The questions and misconceptions a midwife encounters throughout her (or his) journey is what I refer to as my occupational comic relief.  It's a guaranteed free add-on when you're a midwife.  However, some of those moments, like anyone else, I have the option to be offended or to laugh.  Laughter always tastes better then offence.  However, it's not always an appropriate external response but it's always appropriate when retelling a story.  So here I am to tell you some stories where I've gotten free occupational laugh's.

Over the past number of months since I shared with you the common questions us midwives' tend to hear, I realised there is a big one that I missed.

What do you call a man who is a midwife?

Some have to start with the question "Can a man be a midwife?" before they get to the "What do you call him then?" question.  We'll tackle both here.  Yes, a man can be a midwife.  I've never personally met or worked with any, but they are out there.  Some people may be skeptical about this, but I'm a pretty open minded lassie.  When asking the question "why" I like to also ask "why not?".  Okay, so yes there is such thing...now what are they called?  You know those people who like to ask a question and instead of waiting for an answer go through all the possible answers hoping to get it right before allowing a response? (I may be guilty of this myself)  Well, thanks to those lovely folks I have a list of many possible tittles for these rare gentlemen who attend births as midwives.

Do you call them a:

• Mid-husband
• Man-wife
• Mid-man
• Mid-person

Well, if you read my previous post, you'll know that the word midwife means "with woman"...there are arguments whether there is gender indication regarding the person who is "with the woman" so that leaves us with two good answers.  First one is simply a "male midwife" and even more simply "midwife".  

To wrap it up, here's a quote from a male midwife, "Besides, a woman can be a midshipman.  Why can't a man be a midwife?"  I'm not sure what a midshipman is...but makes sense to me.

Misconceptions

Just like a male midwife is not less of a midwife because of his gender, neither am I any less of one because I am single, even though the word "wife" is in my title.  However, it does at times cause some confusion.

I was recently at a Maternal Child Health workshop here in Chuuk.  I was having one of those days that made me wonder if I'm on the brink of burn out (if you're not sure what I'm talking about that's good, we'll call it a rough day).  I arrived at the workshop and took a seat next to a local gentleman whom I'd never met before.  We introduced ourselves and he asked me what I do here in Chuuk.  I told him I'm a midwife.  His face immediately lit up!  He enthusiastically congratulated me with a sincerity I’m sure he saves only for new brides.  I didn’t burst his bubble and let him in on the truth that being a midwife hasn’t gotten me any closer to the alter.  Nor did I thank him for giving me a moment of comic relief at just the right time.  

If I had a penny for every time I've been asked, "If you're a midwife then where's your husband?" I wouldn't be rich, but I could definitely go out for ice cream and maybe even take some friends.  

So here's to being a midwife, living the good life and all the questions and misconceptions (and conceptions) we take care of.  And a Happy Belated Midwives Day (May 5th) to all you wonderful midwives out there, all genders included :-) 

Common Questions for the "Middle Wife"

As a traveling midwife I have the amazing privilege of seeing new countries and meeting new people on a regular basis.  I count this a tremendous blessing! I am always grateful for kind and caring new friends, who are full of curiosity regarding what I do.  I am reminded that midwifery can be a relatively new concept to many people.  Some of the common questions I get asked are:

Why do they call you guys “midwives”?

I had a sweet child ask me once if that meant I was the middle wife.  Although that would be a demanding job, nope, that’s not what being the midwife means.  I’ve also been asked, “Then where is your husband?”  Such questions lead me to believe that maybe a few things have been lost in translation.  Midwife literally means “with woman”.  In Old English wif means woman and mid means with.  So there you have it, us midwives are the ones who are “with woman” when it comes time to have that baby. 

But you’re so young…

While some people don’t even know what a midwife is, others who know sometimes have a few stereotypes in mind.  I’ve walked into more than one room and been asked, “You’re the midwife?  But you’re so young!”  I have not yet earned a full head of grey hair (Thankfully, as I am only 25) but yes indeed, I am the midwife.  Some of the world’s best midwives are grey haired women who carry more wisdom than I can imagine, but even they had to start somewhere.  As far as I’m concerned when it comes to being the best you can be at something, the sooner you start the better.

Did you just say, “Catch a baby?”

People often want to know how long I’ve been a midwife or how many birth’s I’ve attended.  Without thinking I casually reply, “ I caught my first baby about 4 years ago.”  Or “I’ve caught around 120 babies.”  This usually invokes a surprised response and some curiosity on why I would use the word “catch” when referring to assisting a woman at her birth.  Do we literally “catch” the babies?  Do they come flying out?  Do you need a fish net?  Have you ever dropped one?  I often let people ponder the mental image for a minute before I explain.  Midwives simply use this terminology over the more common word “deliver”, as it gives the ownership of the birth back to the mother.  Quite frankly I have never “delivered” a baby, that’s the mothers job and she gets the credit for it, not me.

Silent Epidemic

I returned to the hospital in Chuuk today to discuss my continued role as a volunteer midwife and was greeted by many familiar faces, who kindly welcomed me back.  Many immediately mentioned, “Did you hear about the measles outbreak?” or “So glad your back to help out with the crisis!”

It reminded me of the Ebola outbreak that is hitting many locations in Africa unrelentingly and the response it has drawn on a global level.  Whether it be the measles outbreak on our little island here in the South Pacific that will never reach global news, or the Ebola outbreak that has everyone talking, epidemics demand a response.  Epidemics scare people into action, for fear of what could happen if it is not controlled, for fear of the potential devastation that could come if a combined, strategic response isn’t implemented. 

In the past 2 months I have travelled through 5 countries including Canada, China, Philippines, Guam and the Federated States of Micronesia.  During these travels I have observed another sort of epidemic.  One I haven’t heard a whole lot of talk about, I haven’t seen people teaming up to combat it, and I have seen it affecting each of these 5 countries.  It seems to be a silent epidemic.  I wonder how many other countries are affected by it as well. 

What is this epidemic?  It is the loss of respect.  Maybe Aretha Franklin was onto something.  Respect is such a broad subject.  It can range from self-respect to respecting others, respect for creation, material items, life and death.  But lets not over analyze the word.  Basically respect is realizing that someone or something is important and valuable and treating it/them appropriately.  If you think about it, the loss of respect is a very dangerous occurrence that will dramatically affect our entire world. 

One of the areas where respect is so obviously lacking is the respect of elders.  I really want a t-shirt that reads in bold lettering, “RESPECT YOUR ELDERS”.  I boarded a metro in Shanghai, standing room only.  Behind me a little old lady hobbled on.  I looked around watching to see if any of the young, strong, healthy, electronically absorbed twenty something’s would take note of their elder struggling to stand in the aisle, jump up and offer their seat.  Sadly, by the time we reached my stop, the little old lady was still standing in the aisle.

I think about how many small and large scale decisions are made throughout the world on a daily basis without the input of the elders.  I don’t know how we can be so arrogant to think that our small bit of experience can somehow trump the years of life these incredible people have under their belts.  We are fooling ourselves.  It will catch up with us, and it’s gonna hurt. 

I could go on all day about where respect is lacking in our world.  But truly I don’t need to.  I believe you see this problem as much as I do.  You look around and see the human trafficking industry bombarding the world.  If we respected others, and ourselves would human trafficking thrive?  What about the way we waste precious resources without thinking twice about long term affects?  Or why nursing homes are full of precious people who haven’t been visited since who knows when.  I don’t even want to get into the effects of lack of self-respect.  Again, lets not focus on the issue, but the solution.  Taking responsibility for ourselves.  Responding accordingly to a serious epidemic.

Can we all be reminded that it truly is a problem demanding a response?  Look at your life, not the lives of those around you.  Do a respect self-assessment.  Do you see the importance and value of yourself, the people around you, and creation?  And do you therefore act out the appropriate treatment? 

Respect is seeing value and acting accordingly.  Maybe we need to open our eyes first to allow ourselves to see such value.  Slow down, put down your devices, look life in the eyes, see value, live respectfully.  

Act of Kindness

I sit down next to a Filipino lady and her two kids in the Manila airport, hungry and tired, without enough time to get food before my next flight. My passport is in my hand, as I fumble to get myself organized to board my next flight.

She glances over at me, noticing my passport and says, "Are you from Canada?"
I smile and respond, "Yes."
She smiles back, "So are we, from Vancouver." Her smile broadens, "Do you like Tim Hortons muffins?"
Strange question, I think to myself. "Yes, I do."
She nudges her son, who opens his carry-on to reveal a box of Tim Hortons muffins. They insist I have one. I don't argue. As squished as it was, It tasted delightful. This generous, kind and thoughtful act not only satisfied my hunger, but warmed my heart!

Thank-you God for this sweet lady, who knew exactly what this weary, hungry, travelling Canadian girl needed. Don't forget, your simply acts of kindness go a long way!

The Path of 100% Yes

By saying yes we walk through many uncharted territories. The journey is wild, unpredictable, at times scary and even painful. But it is on the path of 100% yes the path of surrender, and yielded heart that we truly discover our Lover.

 He is there, ever present, every step of the journey. There is no uncharted territory for Him. We discover aspects of His character we could only read about before. Now we experience them. There’s no step of the journey He doesn’t understand. The whole point is knowing Him. Discovering more and more of Him.

 There is hidden treasure. Inheritance that can only be discovered on this path of dying to truly live.  

As we love our family, care for the poor, sick, lonely, and imprisoned. Walk out destiny, calling and vision, we discover our Maker. Apart from our Maker this journey is pointless. He is the point. And His point is always love. And His love always transforms.