Over the past number of months since I shared with you the common questions us midwives' tend to hear, I realised there is a big one that I missed.
What do you call a man who is a midwife?
Some have to start with the question "Can a man be a midwife?" before they get to the "What do you call him then?" question. We'll tackle both here. Yes, a man can be a midwife. I've never personally met or worked with any, but they are out there. Some people may be skeptical about this, but I'm a pretty open minded lassie. When asking the question "why" I like to also ask "why not?". Okay, so yes there is such thing...now what are they called? You know those people who like to ask a question and instead of waiting for an answer go through all the possible answers hoping to get it right before allowing a response? (I may be guilty of this myself) Well, thanks to those lovely folks I have a list of many possible tittles for these rare gentlemen who attend births as midwives.
Do you call them a:
- Mid-husband
- Man-wife
- Mid-man
- Mid-person
Well, if you read my previous post, you'll know that the word midwife means "with woman"...there are arguments whether there is gender indication regarding the person who is "with the woman" so that leaves us with two good answers. First one is simply a "male midwife" and even more simply "midwife".
To wrap it up, here's a quote from a male midwife, "Besides, a woman can be a midshipman. Why can't a man be a midwife?" I'm not sure what a midshipman is...but makes sense to me.
Misconceptions
Just like a male midwife is not less of a midwife because of his gender, neither am I any less of one because I am single, even though the word "wife" is in my title. However, it does at times cause some confusion.
I was recently at a Maternal Child Health workshop here in Chuuk. I was having one of those days that made me wonder if I'm on the brink of burn out (if you're not sure what I'm talking about that's good, we'll call it a rough day). I arrived at the workshop and took a seat next to a local gentleman whom I'd never met before. We introduced ourselves and he asked me what I do here in Chuuk. I told him I'm a midwife. His face immediately lit up! He enthusiastically congratulated me with a sincerity I’m sure he saves only for new brides. I didn’t burst his bubble and let him in on the truth that being a midwife hasn’t gotten me any closer to the alter. Nor did I thank him for giving me a moment of comic relief at just the right time.
If I had a penny for every time I've been asked, "If you're a midwife then where's your husband?" I wouldn't be rich, but I could definitely go out for ice cream and maybe even take some friends.
So here's to being a midwife, living the good life and all the questions and misconceptions (and conceptions) we take care of. And a Happy Belated Midwives Day (May 5th) to all you wonderful midwives out there, all genders included :-)
