Wednesday was a slow day in the OB ward. Myself and the three other midwives on duty had done all the work there was to do and were sitting around visiting. Since we work with a population that has many risk factors, it is good to always be ready for the worst. This led me to ask the midwives if they wanted to review our emergency skills. We started discussing and going through the step-by-step management for every complication we could think of. It was good review and refreshing. This conversation was only the beginning though… As a fairly new midwife (I’ve been licensed for just over 3 years now) compared to these very seasoned midwives (most of them have been midwives for 20+ years) there is a lot I haven’t seen. I mentioned to them that I have never had a maternal death and hope I never do.
From there, their stories began trickling out, each one going through the details of some of their scariest shifts, near losses and also the births that didn’t end well with mothers lives lost. I felt like I was in a sacred time and space as these incredible women opened up to me and shared the details of some of their careers most devastating moments. I just listened. I asked a few questions and listened some more. It’s never easy to hear such heartbreaking stories. Yet I wondered… Who else do these women have to talk to about these things? Who else has had the opportunity to or even taken the time to listen? With each story I found myself hoping I would never find myself in such situations, but also realized that it sometimes is the reality of the life of a midwife in a remote, developing country. At the same time, hearing their stories gave me strength and hope as well. Even though they have seen so much, even though they have been through hell and back, they have never given up on doing their best to provide the moms and babies who seek their care the best services they know how to give.
As the stories wrapped up you could feel a sense of ease and release in the room. There is a lightness that comes with simply opening up about some of the least talked about, hardest experiences of our lives. From there our conversations continued onto dreaming, planning, strategizing about how we can continue to work together as a team to improve the quality of care we provide to our patients. These ladies truly are unsung heroes. They have worked endless hours, seen countless tragedies, and have held their ground. I want to take a moment to count the privilege it is to work with these midwives. They often thank me beyond what I deserve, for working along side them and striving with them for improvements in our area of work. Yet, I don’t know how to express how grateful I am to those I work alongside of. They have taught me more than I could ever teach them and have encouraged me without even realizing it, when I’ve been close to giving up and quitting myself.
I am reminded to always take time to listen. Not just to respond, but to really hear and to understand. I also see that oftentimes those you think you are going to serve and bless often end up giving you more than you could ever give them. It’s always worth giving all you have, the return on generosity is greater than you can imagine (even if you don’t see it right away). I am reminded to be generous in all things: time, love, resources, knowledge, laughter, and more. Lastly, I am reminded to be grateful, truly grateful for the blessings in my life, especially the people. Not to look at people’s faults but at their strengths. Not at what they are not but what they are. So here’s to the midwives I call colleagues and sisters: you ladies are truly amazing!
